There are countless incredible places across the globe, making it challenging to select just one. In this blog post, we’ll share how Jalissa crafted her location strategy and chose where to live. 

Jalissa found herself in a predicament when contemplating where to live. Although she had lived in Philadelphia for a decade as a lawyer, she began to tire of the city after losing her father and enduring numerous frigid winters. 

She wanted to represent logic when it came to where to live.

Jalissa considered relocating to North Carolina to be closer to loved ones following her father’s passing. However, moving back home did not offer the same level of activity that Philadelphia did. Living near family proved to be more challenging than she had originally anticipated.

Jalissa’s family expected her to handle most of the errands and appointments for them. They figured since she was single and worked from home that she had all of the time on her hands. This expectation caused her to question whether her decision to move home was made in haste. She contemplated returning to Philadelphia, the city where she had developed a community over the past ten years. But the idea of living in just two places for the rest of her life seemed limiting. Jalissa dreamed of living abroad or on the West Coast, where life is distinct from her East Coast upbringing.

She felt overwhelmed when she realized she had the freedom to live anywhere in the world. She tried to make an informed decision by creating spreadsheets and going on mini-trips to explore potential locations. But it felt more like a vacation than a serious search for a permanent home. Admittedly, most of her trips were done to escape her family. 

Although she enjoyed traveling, she craved a routine and a home base to establish connections. However, the endless possibilities left her feeling paralyzed and fixated on minor details rather than her original purpose for moving.

The Paradox of Choice

Author Barry Schwartz’s book, The Paradox of Choice, highlights the negative effects of having too many options. He states that it can cause anxiety, analysis paralysis, and decision fatigue. Jalissa began to question if she was considering the right factors. Was her fixation on minor details hindering her progress from choosing where to live?

Studies suggest that having too many options can lead to dissatisfaction with the final decision. The fear of missing out on a better alternative (FOBO) can cause hesitation and stress.

Jalissa felt stuck.

She wished someone would make the decision for her because the fear of choosing the wrong place was too overwhelming.

It’s not Jalissa’s fault though. No one had ever taught her how to choose where to live. 

Just like no one taught her about money or investing or credit. If you’re not lucky enough to have educated parents, you’re just supposed to figure it out all on your own. It’s exhausting and honestly,  just not fair. 

Unlike investing and credit, there aren’t tons of articles detailing a specific process on how to choose where to live. Even though it is one of the most important decisions you will ever make! 

Jalissa needed a location strategy for where to live.

One that revolved around identifying the geographic elements that would enhance her prospects of success. She recognized the importance of clarifying her personal definition of a fulfilling life and the role that a well-selected location could play in actualizing her goals.

Insert “get free guide” form here 

Up until now, her residence had been split between Philly, where she attended school and secured a job, and Boone, NC, where her family resided. However, she was starting to realize that there were numerous factors to weigh in when choosing where to live, such as the climate. The icy winters in Philadelphia didn’t sit well with her and left her feeling irritable for a significant portion of the year.

She also had a passion for biking and desired to reside in a place with easy access to biking trails. As she contemplated her dream location, her excitement mounted. The daunting decision of choosing a new home was gradually transforming into an exhilarating one.

Her new problem was deciding what was most important to her. 

She found herself grappling with the challenge of determining her top priorities. Should she prioritize access to biking trails over a location with consistently warm weather? Would she be able to handle living far away from her family? It was difficult to discern how to weigh these competing factors.

Part of her wished that she had some limitations or boundaries to consider when making her decision. However, with the world as her oyster and limitless possibilities, she faced the potential pitfall of impulsivity.

She didn’t want to leave her fate to chance by randomly selecting a location on a map. Nor did she want to procrastinate indefinitely. She was afraid that if she didn’t take action, she would be stuck in the same place years down the line due to her indecisiveness.

Ultimately, she was aware that the decision had to be hers alone to make.

She understood that it would require a significant amount of introspection to determine what she truly needed both in the present and the long term.

So she set out to craft her location strategy with the six steps below: 

Step 1: Decide if it’s time for you to move 

It’s important to be intentional when it comes to your decision to move. If you’ve been around choosewheretolive.com long enough, you know that we NEVER advise you moving out of fear. If you are running from something then stay put until you figure that out. That problem isn’t going to suddenly go away because you moved to a new city. 

Jalissa thought long and hard about her decision to choose where to live. She had great reasons for wanting to leave. It was nice to be close to family but they were driving her crazy and did not respect her boundaries at all. She knew that raising a family around them would be tough. The thought of having the responsibility of raising her own kids and still being expected to take care of the family affairs was more than she could bear. 

It wasn’t just her family though. Boone was way too small for the city slicker she had become living in Philly. Jalissa wanted to be able to go to plays and drive to surrounding areas for hikes. She had always envisioned raising her children in a metropolitan area. That couldn’t be done in Boone.

She also couldn’t see herself embracing the really cold winters in Philly again. The more honest she was with herself the more she realized that it was in fact time for her to move. 

Step 2:  Develop a Sense of Empathy for the Places you have previously Lived 

Jalissa decided to start her search by evaluating the places she had already lived in. She reflected on the positive aspects of living in Philly and Boone, and also acknowledged the downsides.

She created a list, with columns for the good and not-so-good aspects of each place, which she called her “pretty/shitty” list.

When she thought about Boone, it brought up feelings of nostalgia, comfort, and anxiety. She enjoyed feeling at home there, but mostly because her family lived there, and it reminded her of her childhood.

On the other hand, Philly was where she truly flourished and became the person she is today. She appreciated the friends she made there and the opportunities to explore nearby cities like New York. However, the cold winters and lack of proximity to mountains made it less appealing. She realized she wanted to live somewhere bigger and closer to nature.

Step 3: Understand what you value when it comes to where to live 

Decisions become a bit easier when we apply our values to them. Jalissa thought back to the time when she was trying to decide which law firm to choose. It was a difficult choice because both options were really great. Salary was essentially the same and both offered great career opportunities so it came down to her core values. 

Jalissa placed great importance on transparency as a lawyer. Despite the challenge of balancing transparency with confidentiality, she made every effort to be as transparent as possible. During her search for a law firm, she noticed that one firm was more forthcoming about their areas for improvement than the other. Going back to her values made the decision a no-brainer. 

Jalissa realized that she could also apply this same logic when thinking about where to live. Living in Boone again taught her that Independence was a location value for her as she found the excessive friendliness of southern hospitality overwhelming. She didn’t want her neighbors to have constant expectations of her bringing gifts to their homes. She also wanted to be surrounded by people who were ambitious and driven to succeed in their careers.

Thus, independence and ambition were established as her fundamental location values. She experienced a sense of internal gratification when basing her decision on these authentic principles. As she assessed potential locations, she felt a serene peace of mind as she discarded options that did not resonate with her true self.

Step 4: Establish your Ideal Location of where to live 

What would your ideal living space look like if you could design it yourself? Using your imagination can be a valuable tool when making decisions. Although Jalissa knew it was unlikely to find a place that ticked all her boxes – proximity to family, East Coast ambition with West Coast chill, and near a major city like New York – imagining it helped her discover things she didn’t know she valued.

For example, she realized she wanted to live in a neighborhood with easy access to libraries. As an avid reader, she disliked spending $15-$20 on every book she read. The smell of books also took her back to her hometown of Boone. She found comfort in the thought of having a home away from home.

Step 5: Determine your non-negotiables when it come to where to live 

Jalissa took a hard look at her ideal location and started to dwindle down the things that she could actually live without. She did this with her own ranking system giving each ideal a number between 1 and 5. She based these decisions on her gut reactions. It was all she knew to do. 

Formulating a location strategy can be unsettling, similar to creating a comprehensive life plan. It’s not just a matter of selecting a place to live; it requires discovering one’s identity and aspirations. It’s a DEEPLY PERSONAL undertaking that demands emotional effort to scrutinize one’s feelings, experiences, values, goals, desires, and ultimately leads to a more precise understanding of the most suitable geographical location and lifestyle.

If you’re struggling to form your own location strategy, we’d love to help!