Ready to start over but you’re scared and have no idea where to begin? Check out this article for a good place to start. 

I always chuckle (to myself of course) when people ask me where I think they should live.

It’s like they think I’m some magic genie who can grant them an answer without knowing anything about them. And my answer is always the same no matter who is asking.

You can’t just expect to move somewhere and be happy without first knowing what you want.

I mean, I think this is true for most decisions in life like choosing a partner, deciding what job to pick, determining your life goals, etc.

Yet, so. many. people. let something as impactful as choosing where you will spend every. single day. be determined by everything except what they want.

This blows my mind.

As I’m sure you know, choosing a place to live is a very personal and isolated choice that takes time to figure out. You should not move to the overly romanticized NYC just because everyone else is doing it. Nor should you stay in your hometown because it is easy and you are too scared to do the work it takes to figure out what you actually want out of a place to live.  

When has fear ever led you to a good outcome?

I know way too many people who hate where they live but have no idea where they would even go if they left. Take it from someone who left her small hometown and never looked back, it’s one of the best decisions you can ever make for yourself. 

If you are feeling the urge to start over, I beg you please do. 

But first, check out these things that helped me and so many others determine not only where we wanted to start over but more importantly WHY.

1. Understand why you want to start over 

It is important to think about WHY you want to start over. I will NEVER EVER advocate for running from something. Yes, my entire business runs on people who want to start over.

However, I don’t want you to buy any of my products if you feel the need to escape. 

By escape, I mean that you are running from something you don’t want to deal with. This could be a romantic relationship, a weird friendship, or even family issues. The truth is. Those things will follow you no matter where you choose to start over. 

So please, dear readers deal with your shit and THEN come talk to me. 

2. Assess your Current Place before you start over 

Make a pretty/shitty list about your hometown or your current city. It can’t all be bad, right? There have to be things you actually like about living there. Maybe you like living near family and friends or the great Mexican restaurant down the street. You might like your job or the fact that you have quick access to a certain coffee shop. Does your current place have great walking trails or fun festivals? Maybe you enjoy the cost of living. There are pros to everything, I promise. Try to be honest with yourself here. 

Of course, there’s always the things you don’t like. I probably don’t need to list any examples here. The things we don’t like are the ones that are most glaring which is why I think you should start with the things you do. You’ll probably find that as you assess new places, you will constantly compare them to your current so its important to think about. 

You can access my free Pretty/Shitty List here.

3. Realize starting over doesn’t mean forever 

Just because you want to start over and move from where you are now doesn’t mean that you have to leave that place forever. I mean it’s not going anywhere and you can always come back. Your family and friends are most likely not leaving and would welcome you back with open arms.

This was the advice I received when I contemplated leaving Portland. I had built a pretty solid community of friends there and was terrified of leaving them. However, I had a strong desire to give up my lease and embark on a new journey. Deep down, I always knew that Portland wasn’t the place for me. 

After listening to me babble on and on about why I wanted to start over but was scared, my mentor finally said “You know Portland isn’t going anywhere, right?” I’m so grateful for the wise people in my life!

She was right. 

I had a remote job. 

It wasn’t like I was giving up my source of income. My friends were not going to stop talking to me because I decided to start over. Giving up my lease was the most noncommittal thing I could do. I had nothing to lose. 

4. Don’t take the easy way out when it comes to starting over

I don’t know about y’all, but I am an overthinker to the max. I remember having the conversation about wanting to start over and finding a new place to live with anyone who would listen.

The strange thing was that I REALLY wanted to start over, but I also wanted someone to tell me that starting over was absurd. It would have been so easy to heed their advice to stay. Because staying didn’t require any action. 

Sometimes I think how great life would be if others would make my decisions for me.

Why can’t someone else make all of my big life choices? 

Ever thought that?

But this is not how life works and if we are honest that would be boring. The beauty of life is figuring it out. Plus, if you want to start over and you actually put in the work to make it happen, you will be much more satisfied in the end. 

5. Understand what you want out of a place to live 

Choosing where to live can be a very overwhelming process. There are so many things to consider when you make the decision to start over. Things like cost of living, access to your ideal physical environment, lifestyle, infrastructure, demographics, crime rates, taxes, access to good healthcare, walkability, etc. etc.. 

Overwhelmed yet? Me too.

But fortunately, I’ve done a lot of the groundwork for you! I created a tool that helps you figure these things out. Check it out here.

6. Start Over already!

The point of this post is not to lead you away from starting over.

I only aim to help you understand that moving and starting over are things that take a great deal of thought if done well. I don’t suggest up and moving for the heck of it. With that being said, I must admit that I LOVE new beginnings, I LOVE starting over, and I have done it many many times. 

It is super fun to reinvent yourself.

You can subtly or drastically change anything about you and no one will know. If you suddenly decide to be a serial dater, you can do that. Want to take up salsa? Go for it. Feel the urge to be a hermit and disconnect from the outside world? Move somewhere no one knows you. Maybe you’ve decided that religion is not for you. Start over in a more progressive city. 

Are you scared as Hell? Good, it probably means you are on the brink of something great! 

I hope that by this point, you have realized that only YOU can decide where you should move. Only YOU know what you truly want out of it. Your family and friends can make suggestions but at the end of the day YOU are starting over, not them. 

I urge you to take the time to figure out why you want to start over and what you want out of a place to live before you start researching locations. Trust me, if you go into it blindly you will get overwhelmed. 

If you want to dive more into any of this feel free to set up a consultation with me here!